Posts

Self-Esteem

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This is a blog I wrote when I was 22 years old: This was a hectic year. I was dealing with one guy long distance who called me crazy for actually having feelings and one who was just using me but I was too blind to see it. I'm so glad that I now have that "This is me and fuck you if you dont like it" attitude I was wishing for before. I am so much more at peace now, but it was great to come across this and see the growth:






I would say that 2011 has been a bit crazy for me. The most hectic was between April to.... now. Not to go into my whole life story, but trying to deal with school, work, family, and relationships can drive a girl to drink. (& Trust me it did) I took a sociology class this summer that taught me alot about myself. I had one of the best professors I have ever had, a charismatic black woman that graduated from Harvard. She could make you feel like you could walk outside and pick up a car of you felt like it. She taught us to sit back and evaluate ours…

Online Dating

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Since I've moved to Vegas I have fully embraced online dating. I am fairly new here (been here 10 months) and most of the people I meet out are tourist who are only looking for a quick nut on their wild Vegas vacation. I took to online dating because I thought it would be easier to meet locals. Well, it has been interesting but easy is not the word I would use. I frequent two dating sites Tinder and POF. I need to explain the dynamic of these two sites. POF is a site where you can create a profile, set your preferences and men or women in your area can view your profile and send you a message. This site can be very overwhelming because of the many bums on there who are extremely bored because they have nothing else better to do with their day other than be on POF. So on an average day I get upwards to 40 messages to sift through. In Vegas women being strippers, prostitutes, or cam girls is normal. I will never knock my sex working sisters but I do not know how they deal with the d…

The Reintroduction. After Homework Comes Bills

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Well, it has been a long time since I have written a blog. Six years to be exact. I am now 28, and a lot of things have changed. I've lived in the DMV, Pittsburgh, and I am currently in Las Vegas, but my relationship status is still SINGLE. If I knew 6 years ago when I started this blog that I would still be single asking the SAME questions I would have off-ed myself. At 22 I knew I was young and dumb but I still thought by this age I'd have it figured out. Maybe even married? NOPE. These days I don't even think I want to get married, but we will get into that at a later date. I've been through a lot in these six years. I've broken hearts, had my heart broken, been cheated on, loved on, embraced, disappointed, ghosted, even lost a baby, but I have learned a lot and feel like I have grown into my womanhood. Again, this would never be an advice blog because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. This is just me sharing some of my experiences and looking for ot…

STFU

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I mentioned in an earlier post that women are always trying to voice their opinion or curse they man out. Sometimes you just need to shut up. Now I can't speak for people already in relationships, because I would know. But when your "the main chick" or your just "talking to someone heavy" sometimes its best to just be quiet sometimes and go with the flow. You can't force a man to do anything he doesn't want to do. If a guy wants to take you to the next level you'll know. But sometimes your insecurities can block out that fact. So you start getting upset, wanting to have that dreaded "What are we doing?" talk. In my experience this talk messes up EVERYTHING & no guy ever wants to have this talk. If things are fine the way they are and you both seem happy, just chill out and go with the flow. But once you start snapping out while your still "talking" he may not wanna pursue a relationship with you if he knows THAT is what he i…

Stroke that Ego

Guys are so full of contradictions. I recently read a blog written by a young man entitled Bum Joints Is Winning (Click on the link to read the blog.) When i read this i was really confused. Im like hold up..... so a woman who has to much going for herself is scary? To me it kind of sounds like insecurity. then I sat and thought about a conversation I had with a guy who no longer wanted to date black women he said and I quote "Black girls have way to much to say, I don't wanna hear all that shit." I laughed. If I were a man basher, which I'm not, this would be the point were I would go on a rampage about how real men can handle real women with opinions, who speak their mind, who are independent, and let you know how they feel they should be treated; but I'm not. Instead I'm going to agree, WOMEN not just black women talk to much smack. We can never just go with the flow. Men don't like extra shit, but women are all about it the extra. Men are the most ins…

Dating, Talking, and in a Relationship

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An older lady I take care of asks me every time I go into work, "Why aint chue married girl?! Your 22 now right? Where's your boyfriend? Why don't you have one?" I couldn't imagine living in her old ass world where if your weren't barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen waiting for your husband to come home by the age of 25 your were an "old maid" I don't even think people my age date to marry anymore. What would you even consider "dating" these days. Its not like the 60's when on Friday night your date would come to your house, ring the doorbell, you all would go to a drive-in and then he would take you home and just based off of that one date you guys were officially "dating" So how do you know when your dating someone in this day and age? At what point from you and another person meeting do you all consider yourselves dating? When does it become more serious than dating? When are you considered "in a relationship&quo…

Mr. Yeah

If you have never heard The Dream's "Mr. Yeah" then I'm sure your a bit confused about the title. Mr. Yeah is the guy you ALWAYS go back to when things aren't working out anywhere else. He could be a friend, a friend with benefits, or an ex. Some guy you had some sort of previous "relationship" with. You could not talk to this guy for months at a time, but some how he is conveniently right there right when you need him. Whether it be just to talk, to get away, or to get put down the right way, he is right on time. Why do guys like Mr. Yeah exists? Comfort and reliability. Getting to know new people is a pain. You have to put time and energy into getting to know someone new; but what if you don't have time or energy? Your Mr. Yeah knows you. He knows exactly what you like, and he knows exactly what you want to hear at any given moment in time. Who has time to play the games that dating brings. Should I call him? what should I text back? Whats does he…