Sex and Bills

I mentioned in an earlier post that women are always trying to voice their opinion or curse they man out. Sometimes you just need to shut up. Now I can't speak for people already in relationships, because I would know. But when your "the main chick" or your just "talking to someone heavy" sometimes its best to just be quiet sometimes and go with the flow. You can't force a man to do anything he doesn't want to do. If a guy wants to take you to the next level you'll know. But sometimes your insecurities can block out that fact. So you start getting upset, wanting to have that dreaded "What are we doing?" talk. In my experience this talk messes up EVERYTHING & no guy ever wants to have this talk. If things are fine the way they are and you both seem happy, just chill out and go with the flow. But once you start snapping out while your still "talking" he may not wanna pursue a relationship with you if he knows THAT is what he is

Guys are so full of contradictions. I recently read a blog written by a young man entitled Bum Joints Is Winning (Click on the link to read the blog.) When i read this i was really confused. Im like hold up..... so a woman who has to much going for herself is scary? To me it kind of sounds like insecurity. then I sat and thought about a conversation I had with a guy who no longer wanted to date black women he said and I quote "Black girls have way to much to say, I don't wanna hear all that shit." I laughed. If I were a man basher, which I'm not, this would be the point were I would go on a rampage about how real men can handle real women with opinions, who speak their mind, who are independent, and let you know how they feel they should be treated; but I'm not. Instead I'm going to agree, WOMEN not just black women talk to much smack. We can never just go with the flow. Men don't like extra shit, but women are all about it the extra. Men are the most ins

An older lady I take care of asks me every time I go into work, "Why aint chue married girl?! Your 22 now right? Where's your boyfriend? Why don't you have one?" I couldn't imagine living in her old ass world where if your weren't barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen waiting for your husband to come home by the age of 25 your were an "old maid" I don't even think people my age date to marry anymore. What would you even consider "dating" these days. Its not like the 60's when on Friday night your date would come to your house, ring the doorbell, you all would go to a drive-in and then he would take you home and just based off of that one date you guys were officially "dating" So how do you know when your dating someone in this day and age? At what point from you and another person meeting do you all consider yourselves dating? When does it become more serious than dating? When are you considered "in a relationship&quo

If you have never heard The Dream's "Mr. Yeah" then I'm sure your a bit confused about the title. Mr. Yeah is the guy you ALWAYS go back to when things aren't working out anywhere else. He could be a friend, a friend with benefits, or an ex. Some guy you had some sort of previous "relationship" with. You could not talk to this guy for months at a time, but some how he is conveniently right there right when you need him. Whether it be just to talk, to get away, or to get put down the right way, he is right on time. Why do guys like Mr. Yeah exists? Comfort and reliability. Getting to know new people is a pain. You have to put time and energy into getting to know someone new; but what if you don't have time or energy? Your Mr. Yeah knows you. He knows exactly what you like, and he knows exactly what you want to hear at any given moment in time. Who has time to play the games that dating brings. Should I call him? what should I text back? Whats does

I have had a potential relationship begin and end over twitter. How the hell? you may ask, but its that real out here. With things like twitter and facebook people put like there whole lives online because its so easy to do so now. Facebook and twitter will have you caught up. In reality facebook and twitter don't ruin the relationships people and the dumb stuff they post do. If you know for a fact that your dating a girl that's following you on twitter why are you doing dumb stuff like saying inappropriate stuff or "harmlessly" flirting with other girls out on the timeline. You know damn well your shorty can see this. Then act surprised or get upset when she says something to you. Something as simple as a relationship status on facebook can be world war 3. Women love to be claimed. and if your claiming her in private but there is a big deal when putting in a relationship and attaching her name to it she is gonna think there is something up. Even with guys, let his gi

As we speak I am getting over a "break-up" (Can it be called a break up if you were never together technically?) Well whatever you want to call it a person i spent almost two years investing time, energy, and money into is gone and its been a tough couple weeks. I'm horrible at "break-ups" because I am a people pleaser. The thought of anyone ever being upset with me crushes my soul. Even though this guy was clearly no good. (i may give you the run down in a later post) I can;t stand the fact that I may or may not have done something for him to not to want to be with me anymore. So how have I been dealing with this? Doing homework and drinking till i cant do anything but cry and pass out. Horrible right? I have found a few healthier less dramatic ways to get over a break-up. Stay Busy. Find things to do. Get a hobby. Join a club. Go to the gym. Write. Paint. Do something that keeps you busy and makes you feel accomplished and proud of yourself. You'll be to

In my introduction I stated the fact that I have been single for four years. Even though this is fact I have been the main chick a few times. I don't think anything is worse than being the main chick. With being the main chick you get certain girlfriend benefits but you still have to stay in your lane. When your the main chick it is understood that your the main chick but since there is no title your guy feels he has the right to do whatever with who ever and you can't say anything in disagreement or you are steering out of your lane. This is the most annoying thing ever. Why do men expect girl's they are "talking to heavy" to play a wifey roll? Why if i want anything exclusive I am asking to be saved? I am in college, so i usually date guys in college. What are you saving me from? Class? Homework? Tests? Boredom? Horniness? (yes, horniness) In my personal experience I am either doing better than or on the same playing field in life than most of the guys I've

Well hello, its been a while since I've blogged so I'm a little rusty. I thought I'd start off my new blog by formally introducing it and me. My name is DaQuasia but my alter-ego is Spice which is what I usually go by online. I am creating this blog to speak about relationships from the perspective of a young college girl who hasn't been in a "real" relationship in 4 years. I wanted to create this blog because I have called myself studying men for several years using tools like social networking, books, magazines, television, and just straight up bluntly asking men questions I want to know. I will be using this blog to discuss some of my dating experiences and ask questions. I will not be using this to give any type of advice..... why you ask; because I've been single for four years, I have been dating this whole time but have not seemed to get it right. I've been a lot of things in the past four years, the main chick, the side chick, the jump-off, the